Saturday, April 30, 2011
Unit 6
The Loving-Kindness exercise continues to be a beneficial, open-ended guide of opening my heart, which is relaxing and calming to such a significant degree. The Integral Assessment was helpful, but not surprising. Although I do not regularly do such specific meditations as prescribed in the exercises for this class, I do regularly review my life and assess the different areas that are going well and not going as well as I would like. The biggest area of struggle in my life is a mix between interpersonal and psychospiritual (I think). I have been finding it difficult to remain calm in the face of my semi-rebellious almost 6 year old, who is incredibly strong-willed. I tend to engage in the battle with her, instead of allowing her to learn that Mommy is an adult, and adults do not get wrapped into child-like behavior. It is a lesson I have failed many times, but am THANKFUL that I am finally able to remain calm and assertive with her. Several things had to come into place to allow this to happen, but one of those things did include all the beneficial information and mental training I have been receiving in this class. The other things that had to come together, though, was remembering how beneficial it is for my daughter to receive some discipline when acting inappropriately, remembering that I do not have to lose control in order to enforce rules, and then having a good system for rule enforcement. A good friend of mine was super beneficial in helping me to start an excellent system for rewarding appropriate behavior and gently redirecting negative behaviors. It has worked wonderfully already! Some of the specific exercises I can do to help continue to work on this area is the loving-kindness exercise, which is helpful just to remember the importance of these two attributes. Other practices can be to take deep breaths when feeling my emotions come to surface, speak very quietly when I really want to yell, and if all else fails just send my daughter to her room for a time-out before I lose my patience and things go really south. The biggest thing is for me to prepare myself mentally throughout the day for the likely challenges ahead, and then planning a course of action to protect all of us from a loss of control. All-in-all, great stuff!
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Good Morning Julie,
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post to read. Everyone handles things differently. I have come to learn that breathing becomes a great source of relief at any time that you need it. In doing this exercise and trying it with your daughter, it has come to show and prove that breathing is working well for you.
I too have someone other than a family member that helps me through my day. He is one of my staff members and his calm demeanor helps me along everyday and helps me to grow. I have worked with him for four years and each minute that I work with him, he bestows his extensive knowledge of calmity upon me. One of his says is "it will work itself out" nine times out of ten, getting upset doesn't help, it actually will work itself out. Continue on your path, as I see it to be worth it in the long run.
Ann
Hi Julie,
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing post! I completely empathize with you regarding a strong-willed child. Mine is now almost 15 years old and we have formed a wonderful relationship. She is absolutely a beautiful child of God and radiates kindness and love. - My goodness though, those first 11 years about did me in!
Without going into the unsolicited advice mode, check out the information on www.irlenvisions.com and see if there are any similarities with what you learn and what you are experiencing with your daughter. This is my area of focus and I wish it hadn't taken me 11 years to discover it.
You definitely have your hands full with 4 little ones. I remember those days - you will look back and smile.
Thanks for a wonderful response on my blog this week. I'll look into those suggestions soon!
Rita